No matter where you are, everything your parents ever taught you goes completely out of the window once the humble canapé arrives on the scene…
1. You appear a bit of a tosser to other guests because you can’t focus on conversation or names until you’ve had one of the nibbles.
2. You can see a tray on the other side of the room and you become unusually impatient and panicky that they will run out before they get to you.
3. So you break into a sprint and you DON’T care who gets in your way.
4. Your personality regresses to something resembling a Belieber and all you can think about is how adorable and weeny and cute they are.
5. You forget how to eat standing up and dribble sauce all down your front but you don’t even care and reach for another.
6. You demand that a friend who isn’t hungry takes one for you, so you can have more.
7. And you carefully consider taking a handful and hiding them in your pockets for later.
8. But decide your handbag is the safest place.
9. You then take a bite of one that is simply horrific. Instead of finding a bin you’re too lazy so you hide it in a plant pot.
10. You start to hover suspiciously around the entrance to the kitchen to pounce.
11. People are creeped out. You get asked to leave.
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