How To Trick Everyone Into Thinking You’re A Professional Chef

Nailed It 1

Hello. I’m James and I’m a chef. Do I work in a professional kitchen? Not anymore, but follow the excellent tips below and no one will care that you haven’t got a michelin star. ANYONE can be a top chef if they follow these rules.

1. Buy some chef whites (or blacks). When wearing them, make sure you hold yourself with a posture that asserts your superiority in the kitchen

NsnUZSi - Imgur

2. Make use of your sous chefs and don’t take no sh**

4mdcEdd - Imgur

3. Insist that when it comes to food, you’re always, always right

vxzw4bu - Imgur

4. Treat the visual aspects of your food with precision and care and balance your colour palette in a poncy way

YG6Vxce - Imgur

5. To look like you’ve got skillz, flick your knife around like it’s a magic wand. Avoid nicking yourself or slicing off a finger. Plasters are not a good look.

YKVZexl - Imgur

6. Practice the art of multitasking and use grand sweeping movements to pour, season and stir

zEtr12a - Imgur

7. Oh, by the way, it’s crucial that you don’t set anything on fire

nS00FaL - Imgur

8. And that you always have a plan B up your sleeve

xU7QEVY - Imgur

9. Lay the table in a spectacular manner and completely pamper your guests when they sit down.

gnRrpBr - Imgur

10. When people compliment you on your food act completely nonchalant and insist it was ‘no big deal’

SzPmH9U - Imgur

11. Refuse to share the recipe because you don’t want everyone out there knowing your little secrets

yxqFkEv - Imgur

12. Refer to technical things like ‘Mise en Place’ and ‘Brigade de Cuisine’. Even if you don’t know what they mean, who cares? It’s unlikely anyone else will either…

RfjjVlq - Imgur (1)

13. Finish every dish off with a sprig of mint

fiZ5Ghk - Imgur

14. And by every, we mean EVERY

TwdqkqI - Imgur


So there you have it. TL:DR: Wear a chef’s jacket and act like a asshole and no-one will question whether or not your a legit chef. It’s what Ben and I do.

If you liked this, you’ll love…